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witchiewoman: Now you want to mix farting into it. Your one kinky man.

Next you'll think of something that will make you belch.

Can you belch and fart at the same time?

Olsojente: You mailed it to me, remember..???!!

witchiewoman: I'll bring the buns.

We can have hot buns and burnt weenies supplied with beer to drink.

Olsojente: You mailed it to me, remember..???!!

witchiewoman: Will you supply your Do Do Whacker?

witchiewoman: You forgot the buns.

Just to keep the other weenies away from the tailpipe.

One burnt weenie is enough.

witchiewoman: I don't know.

The tailpipe was probably so hot that his Do Do Wacker got stuck to it, and he night be trying to get it unstuck.

beeorganic2: housebroken- Depends. Is an empty milk jug located next to the bed considered a viable alternative to a toilet?

animal lover- yes, especially ones that go with a salad and baked potato.

taller by 4+ inches- They still make lifts for shoes, yes? Facetiously serious, is there anything wrong with a guy wearing high stiletto heels? (okay, time for monty python's lumberjack song).

intelligent- Subjective. Being slightly more intelligent than Matt Damon still won't win me a Nobel peace prize in physics.

sophisticated- Metal note to self- no sporks allowed at restaurants with "Chez" in the name. Spaghetti is no longer a finger food.

not dull- Is being occasionally mundane acceptable?

educated- I knew a double degree from the University of Phoenix online would pay off someday. Time to go for the hat trick/tri-fecta- next degree will be locksmithing.

possessing soft skills- Not grunting during sex count?

have a job- does it matter if the profession is legal or illegal?

see a woman as my equal- I suppose I could, if I had to, I guess (Thank you Red Green).

spell correctly in ones own language- J'ai un grand crayon jaune. Ich habe einen großen gelben Bleistift.?????. Tengo un lápiz amarillo grande.

age 42 to 57- Not in dog years, correct?

possess no beard- I'll donate my "granny" beards of the world collection to the Smithsonian museum tomorrow.

be short haired- All over or just around the scalp area? Too premature to mention I suffer from male pattern Sasquatchism?

well equipped- radial arm saw, check. Hammer, check. Wrenches, check.

Not lazy- It's not easy gaining all this weight to play the role Jabba the Hut in the local community college stage play of Star Wars.

Interested in life besides PC- Printed Circuts are interesting; However, there is more to life than those... resistors, capacitors, and my favorite... the integrated circuit.

witchiewoman: He actually got some votes. I wander how many are on a plane right now?

Diamond789: Application for the perfect man;
1.I am housebroken.I pee in the toilet(seat up, seat down)shower,lawn and any bush or tree available.( Ring 2 extra bonus points for watering flauna and flora).
2.Crazy about animals,care for my Hound , feed birds and squirrels.( Ring 20 extra bonus points for being humane).
3.I am 6ft.1in.tall.( Ring 1 bonus point for the extra inch).
4. I am intelligent and with at least 2 years college which makes me not overly intelligent.( Ring 1 bonus point).
5.For sophistication I sip beer wih my buddies and shoot pool.(Ring extra 20 bonus points).
6. I am never dull as I have many indoor and doutdoor activities loving to shoot strip pool here in my living room.( Ring 20 bonus points for inventing the game).
7.Educated then see line(4).( Ring 10 bonus points for catching you making an error, which once again proves my intelligence).
8.My soft skills amount to love making and being breast fed.(Ring 3 bonus points)
9.My job consists of spending Tax Free money.( Ring 20 extra bonus points).
10.All women are my equal as long as their 18 and over.( Ring 1 /2 extra bonus point).
11.Please note; all above words are spelled correctly.( Ring 11 extra bonus points).
12.I am 61 ;please note that it takes some men longer to achieve perfection.(Ring 61 bonus points)
13.I have no beard only a soft moustache used for tickling ladies innards.( Ring two bonus points).
14.I am short haired in more places than one.( Ring one bonus point).
15.I am considered well equipped and over 7 in.I won't tell exactly.( Ring an extra 8 winky bonus )points.
16.Not lazy and no lay about ?Please refer to;#5,#6.#8.9 (Ring 10 extra bonus points because you repeated yourself again).
17.Besides the PC I also have the millions of ICONS I keep fed and housed in my little ICON house by the Sea.(Ring 10 extra points for caring for extra life).See # 2,#5,#5,#8,#,9.Again you have repeated yourself.

What idjit made that list ?

Adios; Which is Spanish for "Goodbye" ring extra bonus points for speaking another language).

Polarbutterfly: "How much sugar does this recipe call for..?".

RillyNiceGuy: I have calluses from being slapped!

RillyNiceGuy: I think I'm wonderful,I think I'm grand,
I go to the movies,I hold my hand,
If I get fresh or out of place.
I take my hand and slap my face!

AmberR0SE: rant: 1/08/09

I'm not so sure I like the flowers. All someone has to do is make a click and not even write anything, just use a prewritten sentence. So a guy sending me a flower is sending nothing more than a mouseclick. Not even a personal thought, just a click. Dont we ladies deserve at least a full original sentence?

Sommerauer71: I wonder what he would do if somebody said yes.