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There once was a man named Spock
Who had a series of holes down his cock
When he got an erection
It played a selection
From Johannes Sebastian Bach


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There once was a couple named Kelly
Who were forced to walk belly-to-belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of birthcontrol jelly


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Melboring here.

Warning, only visit the forums once every 8 months or so.

Write direct via Easter Egg


Anyone here in Brevard?: click here to read the entire thread »

Hello CuteChick,

Sans acune doubte, you've been there since and back. Yes, I used to live there as a poor law student. A very interesting time in my life. I fully expected to hate all the French and basically slap the country.

But I happened to stumble upon a great combination of factors that made the French bearable, and to my vast surprise, even likeable.

1) Start with a basic knowledge of French and at least make an attempt to begin any conversation with French. Too many Americans go over there, buttonhole the first paser-by tht looks French and yells "hey! Which way to the Louve?' as if speaking slower and more loudly is more effective communicating in a foreign language. I know Mexicans and Cubans initiating a conversation with me in Spanish when I am in my freekin country does not exactly inspire me to roll out the welcome wagon to them.

2) Wear nice shoes. You can wear a burlap sack if you like, but if the shoes are good, you've made brownie points.

3) Get adept at reading a map, bring a small compass (just to orient you in a city where many of the buildings look the same) and take the Metro (but avoid any deep breathing down there -- it can get pretty ripe);

4) visit the American University and pick up the complimentary English magazine for Yank expats, it'll tell you what's going on where, things to do, places to meet French, rent a flat, buy a bike, etc...

5) Borrow a line from the American tennis player (Jim?) Courier who wowed the French viewing audience with a great line that made the French fall over themselves being nice and helpful to me:

"excusesz-moi, mais j'asseyez apprenez vos jolie langue, mais je parles francais comme une vache espagnole.."

[transl. 'forgive me but I am trying to learn your pretty langue but I speak French like a Spanish cow."]

Hey, I didn't make it up, but copied it and used it to great effect. Came back from one walk, met a girl, got invited in to dinner with her folks and had a great time (being gallant with an umbrella is a great way to meet girls, btw). My buddy was jealous as heall.

Damn, I've been here two years, and nobody ever invited me in for dinner!

Now that was back in '91. It's been some years and the Muslim have really gotten out of control in Europe and especially Paris. Steer clear of the outlying districts (Banlieue) like Stalingrad and Kremlin-Bicetre. They've taken to attacking Anglos and as an American you're a target for self-styled Mujhahaddin.

It'd be different if you could pack heat, but that isn't gonna happen legally in Europe.

Other than that, I had a great time.

Rememember: speak French, wear nice shoes.

Enjoy.


Has anyone been to Paris??: click here to read the entire thread »

Is that anything like a coked-out Al Pacino shouting:

SAY HEL-LO TO MY LEE-TLE FRIEND!

?

Heh heh


Would like you to meet my friend...: click here to read the entire thread »

No.








You asked.


Are big girls beautiful?: click here to read the entire thread »

Well, assuming you don't have a copy of the FM 21-76 ("Survival") manual handy, or you didn't undergo some sort of SERE or JEST training, you might look at Tom Hank's film CAST AWAY or the old 1960's flick 'Robinson Crusoe on Mars' with Paul Mantee, in which they handle things like, shelter, water, food, fire, etc.

At the very least, a really good knife, a hatchet or saw, something to start fire with, a still if you can't find potable water, fishhooks, endless rolls of 550 (parachute) cord. Assuming you were on ahip that got wrecked, either repair it or salvage it for useful parts.

Or, you could be like Seinfeld and use your American Express card and cellphone to call for rescue and a lobster dinner.


If you were shipwrecked in a desert island?: click here to read the entire thread »

Age?

In this pink, fuzzy-bunny PC world, the popular trend has been to avoid reality and fall into a wishy-washy, 'it's all good' inability to distinguish one from the other.

Of course age matters. How much it matters depends upon the terrain and situation. If you want kids, you'll want someone mission capable. This is true because not are you thinking of he and she, but also in terms of the youngun's welfare too.

If aren't the object then age is less of an issue and straight compatibility comes into play. It's just you and your sweetheart. How well do you get along now? Where will you be in personal development 5, 10, 15 years down the road?

With age, ye'd like to think there's been a bit of a learning and mellowing process. It's not always true. You can gauge someone by their age-cohort to some extent, but ultimately you have to get to know them one-on-one and figure out if there is a good fit?

Size? Not all guys are built the same nor are all ladies built the same. After seeing a good part of the world, I'm left to the conclusin that the answer to part number two is: it depends upon the individual, but the extremes on both ends of the scale (gals and guys alike) are the ones that find the most difficultly in finding a good match.


Does age matter?? How about size?? Be honest!!!: click here to read the entire thread »

I agree with you Sam.

For a little while I used to visit the forums on a Canadian site which was pretty active, but I noticed the same thing. A lot of singles seem like they are single for a very good reason, and not ready to reenter the Scene.

A lot of distrust, anger, resentment, sometimes flaring to vitriole, was pretty common to see. I would say some of the worst posters were the walking wounded from the War of the Sexes.

It's easy to get hung up on the chase for a warm body tonight and forget how good love feels when it happens. I see now that's it's real tough to come by.

Tougher still when there are so many venomous hearts out there.

Keep the faith Babe. There still a couple good'ns out here.


G E T A G R I P ! ! ! : click here to read the entire thread »

Characterwise - part Woody, part Buzz Lightyear, figgered I'd just say what Hollywood Cowboys have been saying on the silver screen for years. The "at y h" is just an easter egg for those who want to find me directly.


How did you come up with your username?: click here to read the entire thread »

Fer survival tips prior to th' strandin' ya might wanta take a gander at Lina Wertmüller's 'Swept Away.' It seems to cover all the basics: foraging for food and water, shelter, hiney-pokin' -- everthing the body needs dontchaknow.


If you were shipwrecked in a desert island?: click here to read the entire thread »

- Reno,

Baseball bat, huh? Dang son, that's hard corps.

A rollt-up newspaper'd suffice fer yours truly.

But I do agree with the OP's initial question and would love to hear the ladies' weigh in on this.


If women are supposed to enjoy it more, why do us guys have to chase it?: click here to read the entire thread »

No offense to the OP, but that's kinda like askin' 'what'll it be, breakfast, lunch or dinner?'

Frankly, sometimes I like one or th'other.

Heck, sometimes I'm such a love-struck horneytoad I get a hankerin fer all three at once.

Would that qualify as a "smorgesbord o' lurrrvv?"


lovemaken,sex or freakin: click here to read the entire thread »

What? You mean this isn't the real world? You mean everyone here is really styrofoam Artificial Intelligences? Well, I'll be danged!

I dunno. I figure, rather than have to use a megaphone to shout how pretty some girl's eyes are over the blasting music, there is an opportunity to do a boolean search over a wider group for a specifc set of search items. Folks get to tell a little bit about themselves through words and images.

Of course, it works best when the informaton is accurate and complete. No doubt you ladies have some stories to tell about how you might have been surprised when the personal meeting took place, or even later when the "wife" word actually came out. It happens both way actually (ladies being olde, heavier and slightly more married than originally stated).

Still, it's just updating a very old human activity -- meeting the opposite sex for love or something more passing -- with contemporary technology.

Mozart made beautiful music with the instruments available then and Shakespeare might've just used quill and ink -- but if they lived today, you can bet they'd prolly be using computers and modern instruments.

At bottom, does it really matter what the mechanism of meeting is, so long as you find that ONE?


singles site or real world?: click here to read the entire thread »