| Author | | Thread: does anybody on connectingsingles think they'll ever get married trust love and love 100% again ? |
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jlb684
Athens, Attica Greece
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| | does anybody on connectingsingles think they'll ever get married trust love and love 100% again ?
Posted: Apr 7, 2008, 12:10 AM CST |
I guess I'm just of the "never say never" school of thought. I don't plan to ever marry again, and am definitely not seeking marriage, but I am not totally ANTI-marriage, either. So, although I probably won't ever do it again, I haven't totally slammed the door shut and locked all the windows on the idea.
As for loving 100%....is there another level to which you can love someone? If I fall in love again, it will be no less than 100%. What's 80%? 50% 20% even 95%?? This is not love, in my opinion.
Finally, the trust thing.....herein lies the problem. It's difficult to keep putting your heart out there and not be concerned about all the bumps and bruises that it's subjected to in such a vulnerable position.
Let's just say that I do so WANT to trust and love again. But the realist in me kinda doubts that it will happen. I hope that I'm wrong.
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gillyloves69
london, Outer London, England UK
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slim1977
Grand Rapids, Michigan USA
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injuneer
Clarksville, TN, Tennessee USA
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| | does anybody on connectingsingles think they'll ever get married trust love and love 100% again ?
Posted: Apr 7, 2008, 12:20 AM CST |
Doubtful, very doubtful and frankly I doubt that anyone that has gone through the disappointments of a heartbreak of any kind can truthfully claim they will. I am sure we all want to believe we will again in the future, but part of that earlier experience will always be there so despite the greatness of a new love and relationship, there will be that tiny bit of memory that says "be careful, go slow, avoid the pain".
As we get older we also are less trusting, looking for all the motivations for interrest rather than just accepting that it could happen. And of course, those that are found on the internet are so often from those that have alternative motives, trust is a dangerious commodity.
But still, there is hope. After all, without hope, what would be the purpose???
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Aries01
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
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Aries01
Dublin, Dublin Ireland
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cristina
Lisbon, Groningen Netherlands
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cristina
Lisbon, Groningen Netherlands
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soulmateTWS
somewhere, Alabama USA
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mbcasey
North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA
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soulmateTWS
somewhere, Alabama USA
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mbcasey
North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA
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druidess6308
Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
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druidess6308
Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA
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Steevyv
sisak, Central Croatia Croatia
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CjTenorSax
Atwater, Ohio USA
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Steevyv
sisak, Central Croatia Croatia
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aberfoyle
Coffs Harbour, New South Wales Australia
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Moema
Brasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil
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| | does anybody on connectingsingles think they'll ever get married trust love and love 100% again ?
Posted: Nov 11, 2008, 5:23 AM CST |
A woman I know, good-looking, proffesionally successful, financially independet, intelligent, nice, fun, had been married for 18 years with a guy when she found out he had a whole another family, house, wife, dogs, kids, al of it. His oldest daughter in this other family was 12. She fell apart, divorced him and spent a couple years alone. Now she´s married again to a guy 8 years younger, who makes less money than she does, and all of her friends (including me) were worried that the guy was just into her money.
She said: "maybe so. But I have to trust. I lived 18 years with someone and thought I knew him. Why should I think I know this guy less than I knew the other one?"
I learned that from her, and from my own experience: trust is a choice. It´s something you GIVE, not something you bargain, and you can´t keep counting every little action and measuring "how much trust this person deserves now". Otherwise, it´s IMPOSSIBLE to love. You can´t love someone you don´t trust.
However, you don´t have to trust as naively as you did when you were 15 and fell in love for the first time. It´s a different kind of trust, where you don´t place the responsibility for your own happiness in someone else´s hands. You allow them to come into your "home" (body, mind and heart) and relax, you allow them to make themselves comfortable, but you need to know it´s your CHOICE and be able to set the limits, in a clear, loving way and not allow anyone to hurt you, then you won´t be betrayed.
I mean, that´s what I´ve learned, and I hope I know something at this point in life... and about this, I hope my views don´t need to change. So yes, right now I´m a believer. I´ve been thorugh pain but I feel it´s a matter of honor that the people who hurt me do NOT steal from me my ability to love.
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Moema
Brasilia, Distrito Federal Brazil
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