Serenity1971: The thread about wanting/expecting too much got me think, and I had done this thread a long time ago, but since it was archived I can't resurrect it so.....
When you're in a relationship with someone, do you change who you are in order to make the other person happy?
Do you find a way to compromise with the other person so that there's a give and take?
Do you expect the other person to change in order to fit your wants or needs?
A very hard question that deserves a thoughtful reply!
People should not try and change their personality - that would cause conflict and resentment.
A couple are different from two individuals on their own, but they are still two individuals and there is no reason to try and make one or both less as personalities for the sake of the 'union'.
Compromise is only acceptable when both parties are happy with the outcome; if one person gives up something precious to them just to make the other person 'happy' it's not going to work if the person giving up something is not really happy about it.
Respect for each other is just so important; to take the other person for granted is almost a 'sin' in my view.
My worst sin in my own mind regarding my own experiences from the past is something I've done that I believe many of us are guilty of - taking out bad feelings from work etc on our loved ones.
We have to maintain, mostly, a civil relationship with people we meet both at work and in social situations - we should do our best to remember that those people we are so civil with are not as important to us as our immediate family members....so we should treat our family better (not worse!) than complete strangers we are so 'nice' to!
So - we should change when it suits us by being able to reach compromises that are satisfactory to both of us, but we should NOT change in the way of 'familiarity breeds contempt'........ to take out feelings of frustration by being rude and grumpy and snapping at somebody who loves you is not a good idea!